Friday, January 13, 2012

His wounds paid my ransom

The closer and closer I draw to God's presence, the more aware I am of my sheer inadequacies. Of my complete inability to stand before Him justified, if not for the Cross.

Last night, I seemed to be trapped in a cycle of filling my time with meaningless things. Spending hours of my day in meaningless tasks, while God was calling out to me to fill my time with Him. I kept turning down His offer. Time and time again. As though movies or crochet or iPod games can provide the rest and satisfaction I was seeking. It wasn't the simple fact that I was watching movies or honing my crochet skills or kicking some Fruit Ninja rear that was the problem. For these things only became an issue when I ignored the beckoning call of my Lord. Always, He wants to show me more of Himself. But too often, myself turns Him away. 

It's a strange thing. A mystery, really, how God extends grace when we refuse to come to Him. 

But since His quiet call, His gentle knock, wasn't enough to grab my attention, He resorted to another method. I can see Him now, looking at me, knowing the words He was about to say would not be pleasant to my ears. They would not leave me with fuzzy feelings or butterflies in my stomach. 

I don't know how He did it, but in a moment, He filled my mind with a picture of His Son. Of a mangled body bleeding from a cross, the place where the Father abandoned His Son (Matt 27:46). As this picture came to my mind, the same Father that turned His face away from the Son who bore my sins, said to me, "My child, did you forget what I did for you?"

I stopped my movie, put down my crochet hook and my iPod, and remembered the Cross. The Cross that justified me. 

My church attendance, the Bible I won from a memorization contest when I was five, even the prayer I prayed when I was seven--none of these made me right with God. It was only His Cross. 

Forgive me, Lord, that I so easily forget.

How Deep the Father's Love for Us


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