Tell Them

Well, I'm back.

To the very few faithful readers: sorry for the months of silence. In the time I haven't been writing, there's been plenty of reflection. There's also been plenty of pulling away from the Lord, for reasons I'm unable to identify. Isn't it amazing, that no matter how far we run, the minute we turn around, He's right there? Like He's been following us the whole time, waiting for us to seek Him with an undivided heart again, so that we may taste His goodness again.

Here's what draws me back to writing--this sentence and prayer that I wrote on my mirror weeks ago: "All my life You've chosen me for this..."

I think about the various ministries of my life--to certain friends, to certain families, to certain girls, to the youth--and I am amazed by two things:

1. I never would have chosen this for myself
2. And it's exactly what my heart was created for 

Though I fought God for years on ministry, looking for every possibility outside of it, He continues to show me that He has different plans.

Here's what I usually do: I hold out to him all my reasons for why I shouldn't be ministering, discipling. "I hate speaking in front of people. I stumble over my words. There's too much about the Bible that I don't know. I can't build theological arguments to 'discuss'. I've messed up too much...." And it goes on and on. And usually, He let's me argue with Him.

But when I'm done, He gently takes my face in His hands, and asks me:
"Did I not redeem you?" Of course You did.
"Have I not loved you faithfully?" Of course You have.
"Is your life not mine, to do with as I please?" Of course it is.

Yes, my life is His.

And with such simple questions, He reminds me: It's never me that changes a life anyway. It's never me that saves a soul. It's never me that speaks good words. My call is to simply tell. Tell them about this God who redeemed me, loved me, owns me. Whoever 'them' is--friends, families, girls, youth...

So here's my questions to you:
Did God not redeem you?
Has God not loved you faithfully?
Is your life not His, to do with as He pleases?

He did? He has? It is?

Then my final question is this: Who is your 'them'? To tell them is your call, your purpose, your ministry...what you were created for.

"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works." Titus 2:11-14

Not the Princess

It certainly has been a while since I've written. Maybe no one has noticed, but my heart sure has. When beginning this blog, I asked God to take my keyboard into His hands, and take my fingers and with them, type only the words He would speak. Many times, there is the temptation to write something just for the sake of filling up space on this page. But whenever I sit to write, if my heart is not in intimate communion with our Father, then He is faithful to stop my fingers from typing a single word. When we ask anything that lines up with His heart, He certainly is faithful to give us what we ask of Him.

In the weeks of not writing, I've been captivated by His scandalous love. His love that makes no sense. He was the High King, the very highest, above all things and worthy of all honor. Yet, He found a broken girl like me, with all of her insecurities and emotional ways, and left His high place to rescue her. It was a hero's move, for the girl who was not the princess. 

Sisters, do you see what He did for you?

In all of our childhood fantasies, we probably pretended at some point to be a princess being fought for by a gallant knight, who would go to depths and heights and place his very life on the line, to win the heart of the beautiful princess.

But what's astounding, is that as broken sinners, we were not the beautiful princess. We were dark, stained. And there was nothing within us to attract Him to us. We were the prostitute, who wore rags. Beaten and broken by the world and our own sin, we should not have been loved. 

But there was a knight, a Prince, who looked upon our helpless state and came for us. Feeling worthless, He treated us as though we somehow had value. He owned the entire world, created it. What could a simple girl in rags have to offer Him, that He would desire to have her?

Nothing. 

His love for her was unlike anything any human heart could grasp. For the human heart loves because something about the loved was attractive to us. But God does not love with a human love. He loves with a divine love. And our minds cannot grasp it. 

This is His divine love--He handed over His life to the enemy, making a deal. His soul, for ours. And our soul is that prostituted, ragged soul. With nothing to offer Him. Not even beauty of our own. And what Prince would trade his glory for a girl who is not a beautiful princess. Our Prince. And then, He bestows us with a beauty of His own making, when we build every piece of our lives around Him. A harem of prostitutes, trading their ashes for beauty. 

Understand that you have nothing to offer Him. Nothing. This is what makes His love astounding. That He would come to rescue you, when you have nothing to bring Him in return. 

Run to Him. 

Fall at His feet. 

He loved you when you had nothing to offer Him. 

Look into His eyes, and see His passionate love for your soul. 

Lean into His chest, and find that He is the only One who has ever loved you without condition.

For He loved you with His love. 

His perfect, unfathomable, scandalous love.

And that is reason to celebrate Resurrection Sunday.

"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly." (Romans 5:8)

"My beloved spoke, and said to me: 'Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." (Song of Solomon 2:10) 

Hope for Troubled Times

There are so many times when life simply does not make sense.

You watch God miraculously heal your cancer-stricken grandfather, but the health of someone else near and dear to your heart gets worse with every passing day.

You stake so many things on a bold step of faith, but before you can even announce it to the world a ton of bricks fall and smash it all to the ground.

You decided that a new year was the perfect reminder to start over new, to put the past behind you and leave it there, but the enemy and the sin of mankind continue to bring force against you, and the battle only gets harder and victory seems further and further out of sight.

In all these things, it's so easy to say "I don't understand," and for some it's even easier to say "why, God?" and walk away. But my gracious heavenly Father will not let me go. And I will not let Him go. It has always been the times of trial when I am forced to trust my God. What other option do I have?

I've heard it said that it's easy to rely on Him when circumstances are right, when it's "all good," but hard to rely on Him when the whole world seems against you. But it's always been when it's "all good" that it's been easiest to forsake my first Love. And it's always been the times of trial that the deepest strengthening and dependence upon Him has occurred. It's been those times, when I am face-to-face with my insufficiency and weakness that I've fallen deepest into the arms of my Loving Abba Father and trusted Him more. Where else can I go?

I don't know if anyone beyond my closest few even reads this blog, but trying times will eventually catch up to us all. I plead that if you are reading this, you would remember your dear Father.

He alone is Faithful.
He alone is Good.
He alone gives us hope.

"If we have died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him; if we deny him, he also will deny us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful---for he cannot deny himself." (2 Tim 2:11-13)

So, trusting that in ALL things, my God is faithful, I will hope in our all-sufficient King.
Please, my troubled friend, hope in Him, too.

His wounds paid my ransom

The closer and closer I draw to God's presence, the more aware I am of my sheer inadequacies. Of my complete inability to stand before Him justified, if not for the Cross.

Last night, I seemed to be trapped in a cycle of filling my time with meaningless things. Spending hours of my day in meaningless tasks, while God was calling out to me to fill my time with Him. I kept turning down His offer. Time and time again. As though movies or crochet or iPod games can provide the rest and satisfaction I was seeking. It wasn't the simple fact that I was watching movies or honing my crochet skills or kicking some Fruit Ninja rear that was the problem. For these things only became an issue when I ignored the beckoning call of my Lord. Always, He wants to show me more of Himself. But too often, myself turns Him away. 

It's a strange thing. A mystery, really, how God extends grace when we refuse to come to Him. 

But since His quiet call, His gentle knock, wasn't enough to grab my attention, He resorted to another method. I can see Him now, looking at me, knowing the words He was about to say would not be pleasant to my ears. They would not leave me with fuzzy feelings or butterflies in my stomach. 

I don't know how He did it, but in a moment, He filled my mind with a picture of His Son. Of a mangled body bleeding from a cross, the place where the Father abandoned His Son (Matt 27:46). As this picture came to my mind, the same Father that turned His face away from the Son who bore my sins, said to me, "My child, did you forget what I did for you?"

I stopped my movie, put down my crochet hook and my iPod, and remembered the Cross. The Cross that justified me. 

My church attendance, the Bible I won from a memorization contest when I was five, even the prayer I prayed when I was seven--none of these made me right with God. It was only His Cross. 

Forgive me, Lord, that I so easily forget.

How Deep the Father's Love for Us

(lyrics - http://www.ap0s7le.com/list/song/28/Stuart_Townend/How_Deep_The_Father)

Adventure

I've always loved stories that involve some great adventure. My favorite movies aren't romantic comedies, and most romance novels make me gag. But give me a story that follows the main character on some epic adventure, and I'm all in!

But did you know, that "adventure" is a pretty fitting description of the life God calls us to?

I've been reading biographies lately about people that abandoned everything to answer God's call. Unhindered by the unknown, and unintimidated by the pointing fingers of those who considered them nuts. They had a burning fire in their soul, and like Jeremiah - "...his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot" (Jer 20:9).

They laid down their lives for their King, and in doing so found every satisfaction and pleasure. They counted the cost, and they paid it. They considered the alternatives, and they chose death that they may have life. They knew that their King was worth everything, and they did not hesitate to say "yes" to whatever He asked of them.

When I read about these soldiers of the King, I get the impression that they would be pretty disappointed with Americans. At least those that claim to follow the same One they are dying for. Week to week, we mostly consider a vibrant relationship with King Jesus to be one that consists of a faithful church attendance, no parties attended, little cussing, and pretty good self-control with our boyfriend or girlfriend.

We certainly don't look at our relationship with God through lenses of sacrifice, staking everything on His love, not intimidated by the unknown, and unashamedly walking the narrow path. We have no gusto, and we have no fight. We are much more like sleepy kittens hiding under a car, than soldiers of the King drawing our swords, putting on our armor, and preparing to fight.

This should be an adventure. And if I'm honest, I've been very much asleep this month. It's been bad, which is why I haven't posted much. I've lost my own gusto, my own fight, tucked my tail and ran from the adventure God has beckoned me to join.
What an incredible God, that He did not strike me down when I hid.
Because He is gracious beyond my understanding, He calls me back. He beckons me.

And this time I'm saying yes.

Before the world, aye, before the sleepy, lukewarm, faithless, namby-pamby Christian world, we will dare to trust our God, we will venture our all for Him, we will live and we will die for Him, and we will do it with His joy unspeakable singing aloud in our hearts.

- C.T. Studd

Note: I'm hoping to add a tab above with little blurbs of such soldiers. My prayer is that their testimonies would stir in your heart a deeper passion for Jesus, as they have done in mine.

Awaited Messiah

For me, this Christmas will be different from all the other 21 Christmases I've celebrated in the past. For the first time--and I gasp that it's taken this long--I'm realizing the true meaning of Christmas, the treasure that it really is. Like a lightbulb flicking on in an instant over a cartoon's head, is this sudden revelation that I'm absolutely thrilled about.

I'll say this...

Christmas is not about gifts.

It's not about traditions.

And it's not about family.

You've heard all that before? 

Think I'm going to say, "Jesus is the reason for the season?"

Well, yes. But the purpose for this rant is not to simply quote to you words that have become more of a blurry cliche than a statement of truth. I want to go deeper with you, because God is taking me deeper.

This year, I've started reading through the Old Testament. I'm not quite finished yet, but what I've read so far has been life-changing. And one central theme has been God's promise of a Savior to a broken Israel. His promise of a Rescue, a Messiah. So Israel waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And just when it seemed that the Father had given up on His chosen race, He came. As a pooping, crying, helpless baby. At last, He came.

The reason the angels opened the sky and sang "Glory to God in the highest" (Luke 2:14) was because at last, the long-anticipated Savior had come. And in just 33 years, it would be finished (see John 19:30). Oh what joy! That the promised Savior, Redeemer, Messiah at last would come! Now we celebrate this promise kept during Christmas. And we wait in anticipation for Christ's return. 

Hang tight, my friends. This month I'll try to write often about the journey God is taking me on this Christmas season. I hope you'll join me :)

"...'Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:10-11

Morning Reflection

As I write this, it's about 9:00 in the morning, and my 8am class got out early, so I'm taking a few minutes to just sit and rest with the Lord for a bit. Nearby the table I'm sitting at is a sorority bakesale.

A few seconds ago, a woman walked by with what looked to be her daughter, probably around 4 years old or so. When she walked past, she teasingly said to the girls at the bakesale "Y'all are evil!" then turned to her daughter and instructed her to say the same thing. The little girl, imitating her mother, looked at the girls and said "You're evil!"

Now, the "You're evil" comments may have been 'innocent' banter, or some inside joke that I don't get. But I'm positive this little girl had no clue what the joke could've been about. She may not even know what 'evil' means.

One thing is certain though--this morning, the little girl learned to turn to strangers and speak bitterness and malice to them. I wonder--what will her social interactions look like when she's 16? 22? 80?

This observation makes me reflect on my own social interactions. Do I manipulate through harsh words or a cold demeanor? Do I "make a point" by reflecting bitterness towards someone?

And am I teaching those following me to do the same?

At the heart of these questions is this--am I a river of righteousness, a beacon of light, a reflection of the life-giving nature of Christ? Or do I, through my own bitterness, spread mean-ness to those around me?

"...set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." 1 Tim 4:12

What kind of an example are you setting to those around you?

Untitled, because I'm lost for words...

Tonight I'm faced with the familiarity of God's voice calling out to me, asking me to give Him everything.

He asks me, and He has every right to. In surrender to Him, I gave up my life. I died. And when I died, He gave me real life.

In a country all about rights and freedom, I guess "surrender" and "giving up" are hard things to grasp. Even for the saved. I know it's hard for myself to grasp at times. Alot of times, actually.

But then I think about all that Jesus did for me. He gave up His rights when He left His throne, and He left it to come dwell with sinners like us. He left it to dwell with me. And then He died. When Someone's given everything for me, purchased me, how can I think I belong to myself? How can I think that I get to decide how I will spend my time, where my money will go, and who I will talk to?

I find that the more I'm immersed in this college atmosphere, the more I'm preached at about the need to fulfill my own wants and needs, to strive for what's "best" for me. And the more and more God asks me to give up everything, to give up myself, the harder and harder it is to be surrounded by the self-focused messages surrounding me. Because I've noticed something that happens when I start to believe these messages--it's like I'm being lulled to sleep, like a fog rests before the path I'm on. But not a severely blinding fog, and not an entirely uncomfortable sleep. The fog is just enough to make me think I'm okay without really listening to God's voice, and the sleep tunes my senses away from even really hearing Him speak. It's subtle, but it's a very dangerous place to be.

He's teaching me that He's given me life, and it's meant to be lived. Not slept through.
He's teaching me that He's given me sight, and its purpose is to open my eyes to the brokenness around me, and the sin in my own life.

So once again I plead for His mercy, and when He takes me back, I start to wonder why He ever would. "Love," is His usual one-word reply.

So trusting in His love, I bring Him my brokenness, and my failures, and hold out to Him the mess I've made, asking Him to turn it into something beautiful. And He is. He's slowly chipping away myself and giving Himself instead.

And He is Beautiful.

Never Once Have I Ever Walked Alone

God never ceases to amaze me with the intricate details of His presence around me. I can't tell you how many times I meet other Christians--true lovers and followers of Jesus--in the most unexpected places at the most unexpected times. It would also be an impossible task for me to recount to you how often I ask God a question and seconds later a "gut feeling" prompts me to pick up a certain book or open my past journals and on the pages are the very answers to the questions I have. Or, on those pages or in Scripture He brings to my mind, are the refining rebukes I've needed, and I am reminded that in His presence joy is found, no matter how painful or uncomfortable the rebuke may be. 

I find that in these ways, among others, God is always challenging my words, always testing what I am teaching to others. Today, He has revealed to me my complaints (those of the whiney-nature), and the natural tendency inside me to not trust Him. I teach that to trust Him is to believe Him, yet my own heart can be so reluctant to trust His will and believe His promises.

When confronted with these shortcomings, His unfailing presence takes me by the hand and leads my steps back to Him. And it's in those moments that He captures my heart again like He's done so many times before. This Heavenly Romance means that I don't walk alone. Despite the filth inside me, I don't walk alone. His love and relentlessness for my heart to be undivided towards Him just amazes me at times. 

And it brings me to my knees in adoration of this holy God that would stoop to my stumbling side and carry me. 

Handicapped Bird

Yesterday evening I was stopped at an intersection while I waited for the light to change. I looked over to my left, and there was this little bird hopping around on the median. As it was pecking at the pavement, it seemed like a pretty ordinary bird. Nothing unusual or strange. In fact, if I hadn't looked closer, I would have missed an important detail about this bird. I leaned closer to my window to see if my eyes were just deceiving me, but sure enough, the bird only had one leg! 

I sat there, just marveling at this little bird. It only stayed for a few more seconds after I realized its handicap, before bending that solitary leg and flying away, off to its next destination. 

Maybe I'm weird that I notice things like that, but I was so intrigued by this little bird with only one leg. After it flew off, I wondered how it could have lost its other leg. Fell out of a tree, maybe? Victim to a predator higher in the food chain? Hit by a car, recovered miraculously and only suffered the loss of a leg? One can only guess.

And then I thought about something else. However this bird lost its leg, it still adapted. Not just adapted, it flew, doing just what a bird was made to do. Maybe few of us have ever lost a body part, but many of us have lost money, jobs, grades, loved ones, friends, relationships, status, popularity, etc. If we have a deep love for our Savior, then somehow, those things do not destroy us. We cry out to God, time goes by, and we find that we have adapted. Somehow, the brokenness did not bring defeat.

My friends, like the bird that lost something it likely considered so important before, we must not despair when life does not go as we want it to. Especially when God chooses a situation for us that He chose for no one else, no matter how bleak. His will above all else, your purpose remains.

Whatever your pain, whatever your sorrow, however exhausted you are from things never going "right", WAIT upon the Lord. And may you look back years down the road and find that all along, He was with you. May you find that your situation did not keep you grounded, but like the handicapped bird, you soared high above it. Oh, He may not take away your situation, like He did not grow for the bird a new leg. But the bird still soared. It was not destroyed.

"Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

This one's for the girls

This might take a while to read, but it's definitely worth your time. I'm posting it for every girl that has ever walked down the hall at school, thinking about how badly she wishes she had a guy by her side. For every girl that has planned out the details of her wedding day and gone so far as to dream up the perfect husband. For every girl that fears there is no guy that could ever or will ever love her. For those girls--Jesus longs to take you by the hand and walk faithfully by your side; He is whispering sweet words from Heaven that He is your Husband; and there is no guy in existence that will ever love you like He loves you. Leave the world behind you, fall into His loving arms, and see that in Him is all you will ever need.

MY SOUL’S HUSBAND

By Annie Wesche, SetApartGirl magazine Sept/Oct 2011

About a year ago, I was out on a walk through a neighborhood filled with families and couples with either their children or dogs in tow. I walked past and waved with a smile upon my face, but deep down a pang of longing and ache was increasing with each step. The waiting season for my future husband seemed like it was reaching an unbearable length and I silently cried out, “Lord, I would give anything to have a strong, tender, manly hand cradling mine on this walk. Where is he, Lord?

From the time I was a little girl old enough to esteem the wonder and beauty of a fairy-tale romance I have waited in anticipation for my own unfolding love story, my day to walk down the aisle, and the pursuit of the greatest marriage of all time. Throughout the intense years of growing up and having every hope of such a pure, beautiful story threatened, I have held unwaveringly in faith that God could and would script such a legendary romance. Yet with the passing of years, it began to dawn on me that marriage wasn’t just a natural even that occurred conveniently after graduation or even in my early twenties. There was life to be lived right here and now, either spent pining and waiting for a husband or living a fulfilled life with my Savior each day.

However small a thing it may seem to be, my Beloved Jesus’ response to me on that walk was matchless. It was an unexpected reply, but more real to me than the couples I had walked passed. “Hold mine,” He whispered. “It’s here and always has been, waiting to be the strength, care, love, and presence that comforts you, upholds you, rejoices in you, and guides you. Reach out and you’ll see that I am more real than you have ever known.”

At this crossroad, I was either going to keep sighing and sitting in hopes that my prince would soon come along, or live out what the Lord was showing me increasingly in His Word. He said He was a very real presence. With Him was fullness of joy? There was safety under His own wings of protection? Being with Him is a fountain of Life? Everything I needed for life and Godliness was found in Him? His Love better than life itself?

A smile still comes to my face when I think about how I responded. My eyes closed as tears began to fill them up and a smile that reached clear to my soul graced my once downcast expression. He was there to be all that His Word promised.

My companion, my protector, my comfort, my joy inexpressible, and the strong Bridegroom I had so longed to have at my side. At His heroic invitation to walk with Him hand-in-hand, I gently squeezed my hand closed around His, gripping by faith the nearness of my Groom. It was then that a wonderful and altogether lovely joy filled up my heart as the walk with this very real Prince extended through the sunset.

That day took me deeper into experiencing Christ as my First Love. It was the smallest gesture of my grand King, but it might as well have been a walk through palace gardens. Every day since then, God gives me the same invitation to meet Him in reality as I go throughout each day – to rise with Him, start the day with Him, follow His lead with each friendship in my life, share with Him every thought, hear His words of guidance, love, and wisdom, pour out my heart in prayer, lean upon His power to live as He calls me to, and lay down upon my pillow with His strong, protective presence right here with me.

I had spent hours envisioning the life I would have serving alongside an earthly husband. We would be rescuing dying bodies and souls, taking loads of orphans into our family, and while He preached the Gospel I would be praying fervently for the Holy Spirit to move upon lost hearts. And while those dreams still exist, they have taken a new place in my heart. Rather than taking up each moment with waiting, they lie tucked away, joyfully and sacredly kept for the proper time; and when an earthly man is given, every single one of those dreams will be possible with our Lord.

What now takes center stage is the fact that my soul’s Husband is the very One who has healing for those dying bodies and hope for each perishing soul; He is the Father to every fatherless child, and the Gospel itself living and active! At His bidding and enablement each day I can be His hands and feet. He’s already given me grand adventures following Him to the orphans in Haiti, standing before officials in communist China, and seeing through His eyes a crippled leprous woman. And He has won my heart with His never failing presence, matchless love, and fulfillment of every promise I have believed Him for!

Dare I say it, I am now so completely captivated by the love of this Heavenly Man, that I want no earthly man until it will only serve to bring my First Love greater glory on this earth! And I know now that my heavenly love story with Jesus Christ will be the greatest gift I can one day give my future husband, as we will both continue living fully for our King…together.

Hold on, girls. In His arms is fullness of joy. I, too, ask God on occasion when my time will come. And each time, He reminds me that "my time" is His time. And there are no better hands in which to trust "my time" than His.

This Jesus

"...I will turn their mourning into joy; 

I will comfort them, 

and give them gladness for sorrow." 

- Jeremiah 31:13 -

As I meditate on this verse, there is one thing that I am reminded of. To think that He subjected Himself to the deepest of sorrows, the darkest of mourning, that we may know joy and comfort and gladness. It seems that for true worship to spur forth from our lips, our hearts must understand that this "free gift" was not free for everyone. Someone paid a price, and that price was death. The cost of our gift--God Himself abiding with us--was death. Either we would pay or He would. Do we realize what it is that He's done for us? What great love this must be to pay a price such as this for a people that would not love Him back. 

This Jesus lived on earth as a servant, taking the lowliest of positions in washing his followers' and friends' feet caked in dust.

This Jesus, Himself fully God, Creator of earth, of oceans and mountains, sunsets and starry nights, also took such intricate manners to form you and me. He knows the number of hairs on our heads and every though of our hearts.

This Jesus, that knows us so intimately left His kingly throne with its power and majesty, and came to earth in the form of an infant. A baby that cries and poops and burps and is completely dependent on his caregiver.

He grew to adulthood and raised men from the dead, gave sight to the blind, and healed the lame. He lived a perfect, innocent life, only to be betrayed by a friend. A friend who accepted money to lead this Jesus to His very death. The unthinkable is in Jesus' ability to simply speak a single word and stop the madness, yet He spoke not a word.

He was beaten unrecognizable, mocked and spit on, and drug up a hill to have nails driven through his hands and feet and hung on a cross between criminals. There, he died. But, oh, it was not in vain. He was buried in a borrowed tomb, and walked out of it alive three days later.

Rising from the grave, He defeated death, the same death that gave us life. It was the only way we could ever love Him. Our very Father in heaven, sending this Jesus, paid our price that we may see Him someday. He died to save us from Hell, and the burden of sin. He set us free, and we are free indeed!! Called the bride of Christ, in a marriage covenant.

And one day, He's coming back in the clouds to take His bride with Him. What a glorious day when we can see Him face to face--gaze into His eyes, fall at His feet, and weep for joy. When we can finally praise Him unreserved and unrestrained.

We will come running past the gates of Heaven and into God's open arms, and on that glorious day, He will say, "Welcome Home, my child, welcome Home."

 May we remember His amazing love, and decide that we will love Him back.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us

At our last open gym, I witnessed a short, seemingly insignificant interaction between a daughter and her father. In the moments I watched what was happening, God was speaking sweet words about His grace into my own heart. I immediately grabbed my iPod and took some notes on what I'd just seen. I'll simply copy what I wrote here for you to read:

Skipping along, excited to play, her chips suddenly fell from her hand and scattered to a mess all over the floor. Out came that bottom lip and a cry was about to burst from inside her. "DADDY!!" she screamed, and immediately turned to her father sitting nearby, panicked at the size of the mess she'd made. When she caught his attention, she pointed to the chips strewn all over the floor.

With gentle grace in his voice, he looked her in her eyes--those big, glistening blue eyes--and said, "It's okay, baby, just pick it up."

At the sound of her father's gentle words, it's as though she was instantly comforted, and the cry was snatched from erupting through her lips. She knelt down to her knees, and began scooping up the mess. Once she'd gathered all the chips up in her hands, she walked closer to her father and asked him pleadingly, "Where's the trash can?"

Her father held out his hands and said to her, "Here, give it to me. I'll throw it away for you."

The worry faded from her face as she handed him her mess, and as he took it from her, she grinned, hugged him, and that innocent, dimple-cheeked smile returned to her face. As her father walked to the trash can to throw away the chips that had made such a mess, she skipped away, hair bouncing on her shoulders, as she hummed a sweet tune.

As I sat back, soaking in the situation that played out before me, I couldn't help but notice the comparison to our own Father's gentle grace.

I think about how many times I've come running to God, crying about the latest mess I've made. But in His loving grace, he simply looks me back into my eyes and says, "It's okay, my daughter, just give the mess to me, and I'll clean it up for you." He reminds me of the price already paid, the death that took my sin and disposed of it on the cross, then left it in the grave. He doesn't scold me or shame me, just takes me by the hand and helps me back to my feet to start walking again.

What love and grace He has lavished on us! We had no right to be called children of God Most High, yet He chose to love us, to save us, to make us His. And when we fail or stumble, He casts no condemnation, for it's Christ's blood that has made us innocent, not our own absence of failure.

Oh, gracious God, how can we ever repay you? 

That's just it. We cannot repay him. We need not repay him. The work was finished on the cross, because it's the only payment that could ever satisfy. When we begin to grasp this incredible truth, how can we not offer Him anything but everything we've got?

We don't have much, but may we give what do we have--all of ourselves--to Him, in response to such great love that He has lavished on us.

May you walk in God's grace, clinging to the ways He has loved you.
May you curl up in His lap, and find that He casts no condemnation for your mistakes.
May this grace lead us to repentance, that we may walk deeper into wonderful fellowship with our Father.

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!..." 1 John 3:1

"The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him" Daniel 9:9 

Does it not stir up our hearts?

Okay, guys. It's been a while, but give me a break...I've been out of the country ;)

Since we've been back from South Asia, there is one single thing that God has kept heavy on my heart. And I think it's best explained in a quote by one of my heros:

"Does it not stir up our hearts to go forth and help them, does it not make us long to leave our luxury, our exceeding abundant light, and go to them that sit in darkness?" - Amy Carmichael

Does it not stir up our hearts?

While in South Asia, so many of us were completely overwhelmed by all the darkness surrounding us. But here's one question--is it not dark in America, too? Or is it just that we are so immersed in the darkness of our own culture that we don't even see it anymore?

I've been burdened and convicted about the ways I've failed to carry God's light into the darkness around me here. And if you're like me, it's easy to respond to that conviction by shrinking back and being so overwhelmed by failure that you wonder how you'll ever walk back into the areas you've failed and do it right this time.

But then I'm reminded--"All authority on heaven and on earth has been given to me" (Matt 28:18). All authority belongs to Jesus, not to me. It's Jesus who saves, not me. Neither you nor I have any power to save, only Jesus.

The truth is, we are not able.
We are completely powerless.
Entirely weak.

Yet, God's power is made perfect in weakness. I can't explain it. I don't know how He does it. But He does it. Somehow, He does it.

So go.

And place no pressure on yourself to save or to speak the right words. After all, the power to save is not yours, and it is God's words that speak, not yours.

Find confidence in Christ's last words of His commission: "And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age" (Matt 28:20).

What comfort to know that we do not fight this battle against darkness alone, for He is with us, to the end of the age.

"Will you give Me everything?"

Well, it's been a while since I posted. Hopefully this will make up for my slacking.

We leave for South Asia in one week. One week! Crazy! As I sit in my room, thinking about the trip, a question that God has been asking me for months is at the forefront of my mind again.

Will I give God everything? Everything.

Seems like a silly question when faced with this reality--what do I possess that I could ever give the Maker of all things? The One who threw the stars to the sky, who gives sight to the blind and makes the cripple walk? The One who took the impossible state of fallen, broken sinners, and gave them life to save them from their impending death?

How could everything we possess ever be enough to offer our King?

Yet, He continues to ask the question. Will you give Me everything? Will we give Him everything? Literally, our very lives?

I find I'm learning daily to answer "Yes" to this question, but most days, I don't even give a single thought to it. After all, it's a painful question to answer "Yes" to. But He says that it will be worth it.

Despite my tendency to hold back, it seems God continues to ask the question, continues beckoning me to have the same heart of countless others that have given everything for the sake of their King. Like the widow who offered the only money she possessed, "all she had to live on" (Mark 12:41-44). Like the woman who took her costly perfume and instead of saving it for herself, she poured it all on Jesus (Mark 14:3). Like Corrie ten Boom, who risked Nazi capture by hiding Jews in her home. Like Gladys Aylward and Amy Carmichael who left their comforts and chose instead to live among the poorest, most despised souls, all because their Lord told them to.

When the voice of God calls out, will we answer? Jesus says that His sheep know His voice (John 10). It seems that learning to respond to it is where we struggle.

So...if God were to ask you the same question He has been asking me--Will you give Me everything?--how will you respond?

"Now Jesus sat opposite the treasury and saw how the people put money into the treasury. And many who were rich put in much. Then one poor widow came and threw in two mites, which make a quadrans. So He called his disciples to Himself and said to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all those who have given to the treasury; for they all put in out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had, her whole livelihood.'" (Mark 12:41-44 NKJV)

His command is not beyond our reach

Alright. This might be carrying over from a conversation I had with a few people last night, but it is certainly still on my heart. It will probably be quick, but I feel like it's important.

In this life, you will have a million different voices telling you which way to go. Which path is the best to travel, which things are the best to meditate on, which aspects of this Christian life are most important, which Scriptures are worth dividing over. Many of these different voices will come from within the Church, which can be confusing if our eyes are not fixed on Christ, on the essentials of walking with Him.

So as all these voices fight for your devotion, I think I'll simply relay to you what Moses said to the Israelites right before he dies, right before they head into the Promised Land. Now, wouldn't you figure that if Moses' earthly life is about to end, whatever advice he gives the Israelites is probably pretty important? Just read, and answer that question for yourself...

"...The LORD will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as he delighted in your ancestors, if you obey the LORD your God and keep his commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul. 

Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, 'Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?' Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, 'Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?' No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.

See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob."  [Deuteronomy 30:9-20 NIV]

As I've read Scripture, it seems to me that God speaks so much more highly of loving Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength than of  having a million answers to the most challenging theologies.

Sit at His feet.
Meditate on His word.
Treasure up in your heart all the things He shows you.
And LOVE Him. With everything you've got.

"One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 'Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?' Jesus replied: '"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself." All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.'"  [Matthew 22:35-40] 

Refiner's Fire

"He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver;

He will purify the sons of Levi,

And purge them as gold and silver,

That they may offer to the Lord

An offering in righteousness."

Malachi 3:3 (NKJV)

I'm kind of in an interesting season of my walk right now. Not really sure exactly how to explain it to you all, but I guess the best I can say is that it's a season of waiting, learning, breaking, healing, and loving. Waiting on God's timing, learning what being a "woman" of God actually means, breaking for burdens of those around me and of certain things in my own heart, healing of those things being broken in my heart, and loving those that are hard to love. (Which, really seems to be EVERY season in some manner, but it's just so much more apparent right now...if that makes any sense?)

Anyway, all of these things are a part of God's refinement. Refinement. I've heard that word a lot, and people have explained it to me a million times, but only when I sensed God's actual refinement in my life did I begin to grasp it. The reality of it, the pain of it, the joy in it. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense to the world, but for the child of God, it's a beautiful shaping of a life to look more like Himself.

To add to the millions of explanations of refinement you've also probably heard, here's just one more:

Amy Carmichael - "One day we took the children to see a goldsmith refine gold after the ancient manner of the East. He was sitting beside his little charcoal fire...In the red glow lay a common curved roof tile; another tile covered it like a lid. This was the crucible. In it was the medicine made of salt, tamarind fruit and burnt brick dust, and imbedded in it was the gold. The medicine does its appointed work on the gold, 'then the fire eats it,' and the goldsmith lifts the gold out with a pair of tongs, lets it cool, rubs it between his fingers, and if not satisfied puts it back again in fresh medicine. This time he blows the fire hotter than it was before, and each time he puts the gold into the crucible, the heat of the fire is increased; 'it could not bear it so hot at first, but it can bear it now; what would have destroyed it then helps it now.' 'How do you know when the gold is purified?' we asked him, and he answered, 'When I can see my face in it [the liquid gold in the crucible] then it is pure.'"

"When I can see my face in it, then it is pure." When God can see His face in us, then we are pure.

Just for fun, here's one more quote for you:

"The Christian life can be explained only in terms of Jesus, and if your life as a Christian can still be explained in terms of you--your personality, your willpower, your gift, your talent, your money, your courage, your scholarship, your dedication, your sacrifice, or your anything--then although you may have the Christian life, you are not yet living it!...True godliness leaves the world convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that the only explanation for you, is Jesus Christ." - Major Ian Thomas

When you walk about your daily life, is the first question you ask "What do I want to do today?" Confession--quite often, that's the first question I ask, too. And much too often, it's the only question I ask :/  ...Yet, somehow, in all our failings, God keeps scooping us back up and cradling us in His arms before setting us back on our feet to take the next step. And once we gain our balance again, He sticks us back in the crucible, and heats the fire a little bit hotter. But this time, we're not hurt by this hotter flame. It would have destroyed us before, but because we are a little bit more like Jesus today than we were yesterday, it is simply refining us.

Not sure I still fully understand "refinement." But one thing I know for sure, God certainly is refining me! My prayer is that if you are His child, then you are trusting His refinement. That you are staying in that crucible, though it might hurt. But it will not destroy you, because the Great Refiner is the One holding you :)

Moonless Trust

This morning, I read from a little piece of paper that I'd written a quote on, more like an excerpt really from a book that I have. I'm in a little bit of a place of uncertainty in my walk right now, and as I've been taking these things to the Lord, He graciously directs my eyes to things that will touch my soul so sweetly, all that I may turn the praise back to Him.

So here is the little excerpt that I read this morning, that I'll share with you, too, since I'm positive that I am not the only one around here needing the Lord to guide me.

Some of you are perhaps feeling that you are voyaging just now on a moonless sea. Uncertainty surrounds you. There seem to be no signs to follow. Perhaps you feel about to be engulfed by loneliness. There is no one to whom you can speak of your need. Amy Carmichael wrote of such a feeling when, as a missionary of twenty-six, she had to leave Japan because of poor health, then travel to China for recuperation, but then realized God was telling her to go to Ceylon. (All this preceded her going to India, where she stayed for fifty-three years.) I have on my desk her original handwritten letter of August 25, 1894, as she was en route to Colombo. "All along, let us remember, we are not asked to understand, but simply to obey...On July 28, Saturday, I sailed. We had to come on board on Friday night, and just as the tender (a small boat) where were the dear friends who had come to say goodbye was moving off, and the chill of loneliness shivered through me, like a warm love-clasp came the long-loved lines--'And only Heaven is better than to walk with Christ at midnight, over moonless seas.' I couldn't feel frightened then. Praise Him for the moonless seas--all the better the opportunity for proving Him to be indeed the El Shaddai, 'the God who is Enough.'"

Let me add my own word of witness to hers and to that of the tens of thousands who have learned that He is indeed Enough. He is not all we would ask for (if we were honest), but it is precisely when we do not have what we would ask for, and only then that we can clearly perceive His all-sufficiency. It is when the sea is moonless that the Lord has become my Light.

--Elisabeth Elliot, Keep A Quiet Heart

I pray that this blesses you, as it has blessed me in unspeakable ways. I pray that as you walk down paths of uncertainty, you come to find that Jesus is Enough.

What to do now that camp is done...?

Well we've been back from camp for a few days, and I knew from the moment I got back to my house I wanted to post something about camp to this blog. But it's taken me some time to think of what to say. I guess my encouragement to you guys as you go on with life after returning from camp is this--by all means PLEASE stay at Jesus' feet. The most precious growth will always take place when you have been in His presence. When the world starts to try turning your heart away from the Lord, when your parents pressure you, when your friends don't understand this change in you, when your own heart fails you, remember your God. Run back to Him all the time. ALL the time. I can't even begin to tell you how purely sweet it is to sit with Him. Just to sit with Him. Even if you hear nothing from Him, haven't you ever wondered if He simply wants us to sit still with Him? Our lives are busy and distracted, but may God give us UNDIVIDED hearts, that we love and fear Him alone.

Youth Camp

Welp, we're headed to youth camp this week. YAY! For those that haven't heard me say it about a million times already...camp week is my absolute FAVORITE week all year! I know for many of you, it's the same way. Isn't it wonderful that the closeness-to-God we experience at camp is intended for every day? That intimacy with Him, that feeling that He's hugging you tight into His chest, that feeling leaving camp where we don't want to leave...yes, all of that is intended for every day :)

God desires intimacy with us every morning.
He wants to begin our day by hugging us tightly to His chest speaking sweet words of His mercy.
And when we are so captured by this intimate hug, we don't want to ever leave His presence.

So whether you are headed to camp with us, or staying behind, I hope that you are being hugged by God. And if you're not one of those touchy-feely people and you're feeling a little weirded out by the image of God "hugging" you...don't worry, it's usually pretty uncomfortable for most people when God first begins to hug :) But, sooner or later, you won't ever want to leave His presence.

As things have gotten busy lately, I know I certainly have not guarded those few precious moments with Him in the morning, and I have certainly come to miss it. Isn't it a strange thing when we reach the place in our relationship with God that when we aren't with Him, we feel like we MISS him? The truth is, He is not far from each one of us (see Acts 17:27), but it is interesting to trace the path of our steps as we've gotten from the place of a lost little soul, to the place of a forgiven child who misses their dear God.

This post is a little shorter (quite a bit shorter, actually...which must be a relief to alot of you), and seems a little rant-y, but I still hope you are touched.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning..." Lamentations 3:22,23